I believe

I believe in love that shatters time. The kind where if you haven't seen the person in a year, you can still cal them up and say "Hey, I love you and I fucked up. Can I have a second chance?" Except, screw the "second chance part", because their first chance will never quite be over. The kind of love where you don't even miss the person. Not even if they are gone for forever. Because you know that you love them no matter what. I know that this kind of love exists, because I love him like that. I mean, I try not to. I don't have the time to love him anymore. He gave me away. And I have someone new. Well, not so new, actually. Somebody who I love more than time. Somebody who has always been there for me - well, ever since he got to know me at least. Eric: I don't know why the fuck you left. But, I do know that you are an idiot for throwing away blue love. The kind I've been searching for forever. Matt: I love you more than time. But, you don't quite shatter it. I'm pretty sure that if I called you up after two years, you would tell me to get lost. Maybe not, though. That's the entire idea behind my gypsy star. I love you so much.

Please hold on to that, no matter what happens.

If we ever part ways, I'd like to see if we ever get back. Because I can honestly say that if we don't, it will not be my fault.

My love for you shatters time.

Sometimes I feel as though I love too passionately. Other times I think that people are just crazy. I mean, most would not consider it acceptable for somebody to call them up after two years and ask for a second chance. They'd be like "second chance? But I thought it was over for good!" And then they'd introduce you to their new Arab boyfriend named Hugo. I'm sick of that. And I would never treat anybody that way.

People are NOT replaceable.

You know that song by that black singer "Irreplaceable"? It's about a girl who is telling her cheating boyfriend to get the fuck out and that she has already got a replacement for him. In my opinion, that bitch deserved to be cheated on. If he's so replaceable, why shouldn't she be?

I'm going to cry over Eric forever. It will be special forever.

I'll also know that Matt is the one forever. And I'm not just saying this stuff because I know he'll be reading it in a couple of hours.

Matt is my favourite place to be. I'd give him all my time, and he's worth more than my life. No, I'm not saying I'd die for him. But, I am saying I'd give my life for him.

And probably die for him to.

I don't know.

Would we be able to shatter time? Because if not, I couldn't die for him. I couldn't stand to know that he'd forgotten me.

Just like I can't stand to know that Eric's forgotten me.

Still, I continue to prove that this kind of love exists. Love that shatters existence. Because my world has been completely changed because of you. I'm no longer a person. I'm a person and you. And I'm honoured to have my name next to yours.

Even if you scribble yourself out later.

Because I'll be there forever. And eventually I'll find somebody who will stay.

So Matt, how do you feel about time? How do you feel about being mine? Seriously, could you stand belonging to me? Could you stand putting your soul in my hands? I mean, I know that you love me, but could you do more? Could it change you?

Not that I want you to change. I just want us to become one.

Yeah, I'm cheesy.

Deal with it.
<3.

Life is like a snowflake. Without rain. Without friends. Just kissing. With lots of tounge.

Lick me up, please.

I'm tired of being alone.


And I could write enough to fill a bucket. A bucket full of your name. Written across sliced up body parts.

But not ours.

Just my gypsy star.

We gotta beat this fight.

I don't want to be a snowflake anymore.
Dark blue?

I used to let guys bruise me for fun. Not everybody, of course. Just Eric and Phil, the only two guys I knew at the time. I wanted to show them how much I'd do for them.
They never showed me shit. Especially not Eric. He just called me a slut and hugged the bruises away.

I'm tired, and why can't anyone see the real me?

Aaron's Rod

I need a sign to let me feel
your name. I need a rose garden
to plant all of our hearts so that
they can bloom through thin and fat

and i'm sick of all these turkeys that
are never thankful for it all
never thanking god that they did
not have to ever have to slip,
trip,
fall.

Until your name I write, here on
my hand. I want your promises
to tell my tears goodbye. I need
a tissue to blow away greed.

i'm sick of all these turkeys that
are never thankful for it all
never thanking god that they did
not have to ever have to slip,
trip,
fall.

And I'd do anything to have him back for one
more day of smiling, laughing, playing in the sun.

Cuz i'm sick of all these turkeys that
are never thankful for it all
never thanking god that they did
not have to ever have to slip,
trip,
fall.

Everyday.

Every day, I wake up feeling ashamed.

Listen

I am far too tired to count the stars tonight. But,
the moon is staring at me, with a gorgeous jut
of light streaming from its eyes, like lashes. And the
man on the moon is telling me to get home. A
surprise awaits me where I shall least expect it
to - a romantic walk in a garden, a hit
and a miss and some love making too. But, whatever
shall I do? My heart misses you, but you will never
miss me back. At least, not until I’m a hundred,
or dying, or once I’ve moved into the small bed
(hey, I already hate sharing a king’s sized one!)
Oh well. There’s not enough room for you anyway.

Fingertips

The world is sitting at my fingertips. I'm leaving you behind. I'm tired of your lies. I'm tired of chasing your shadows. I'm tired of licking your boots. I'm tired of whispering at night to no one. I'm tired of yelling underwater. I'm tired of breathing in your air. I'm tired of answering phone calls from people who just don't care. I'm tired of dancing on the streets for no one. I'm tired of missing you. I'm tired of people talking to me as if I know what they are talking about.

All I want to say is, shut up.

I honestly don't care. Goodbye is my favourite word. You are my favourite song, and I have you memorized. But, I'm tired of seeing your face in my review mirror. It makes me want to pull back and run you over.

Do you really want to be roadkill?

Didn't think so.

So, how about we ignore the stop signs? Take off the sunglasses and full systems go. Empty at the speed of dawn, where I wake up in your arms.

Please, do not ever pet me or call me beautiful. Nice guys come in great disguises. Nice girls do too. I'm tired of waiting.

I just want to run.

Let's get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of me.

How about now? You wait for me on the phone. Or not.

I hear the dial tone.

I'm free. I'm locked in the cage of solidarity. All I have for company are the white walls.

You are so fucking impatient. Do you ever calm down? I'm not there to be your squeeze toy. Sometimes you make me cry. But, all in all, the juice is worth the squeeze.

Still, I think I'd rather be alone.

How's your internet treating you?

Don't for a second think that I'm calling you back.

I hate your guts.

Let's be friends.

I'm counting down the seconds until you call me back.

1...2...3...zzZZZZZzzz.