I havn’t written in awhile because there’s not a lot to say.

I miss him.
I love him.
Nothing changes.

Except the days, the number of times I get to see his face, and the number of kisses I can get in a minute. Just give me a minute.

I need to catch my breath.

Fuck.

Pulling hairs

Everything tastes better in small sips, even if it eventually makes you sick. Even if it eventually destroys everything.

That's the beauty of destruction. But, I bet you could tell me a bit about that yourself, couldn't you? You are running scared. You don't see me, because slowing down might give me time to catch up. And if I did catch up, I might end up realizing that keeping up with you isn't as hard as you made it out to be. You just started the race before anyone yelled "Go!"And when they did say "Go!", you were already gone.

Fuck it. I've got no time for running around in circles anyway. I think I'll surprise you by standing still.

Oh, who am I kidding? There's no surprising you.

And I still miss you.

Dear Handsome Boy

Dear Handsome Boy,

I never wanted things to be like this. I always envisioned our relationship as being one with lots smiles and hand holding. I imagined making love to you in Florida. I pictured a person who I could show everything to, trust, and just be with. I wanted somebody to love. I wanted you, but I wanted things to be a bit different than they are now. I wanted peace. I wanted fun. I wanted serious. Yes, I wanted everything. I wanted it all.

Now, I would settle with you just picking up the phone. I don't know why we fight so much. Maybe it's because we are bored. We both love each other so much. There is no way that either one of us could be misguided enough to believe that our relationship is in danger. But, sometimes I do get scared, even though I know we will be okay. I get scared because you don't seem to like me as much as I like you. You hang up on me, you call me a bitch and you are rarely romantic.

I want things to be different. I want you to stop telling me not to call. I want you to actually want me to call. I want you to call me. I want you to tell your parents to back off. I want more hugs. I want to move in with you. I want the freedom of just being together. I don't want any more of this shit. I want to be able to be myself when I'm with you. I want to hold your hand in the rain, run with you in the sunshine and kiss you in the snow. I want to belong to you. I want us to always be together.

What do you want?

Love,

Pretty Girl

PS Please write back! =)

Fuck you. <3 Bye.

I actually hate you. Like seriously. What the fuck is your problem? I don't have time for this. You led me on for the entirety of grade ten. And, you are probably doing it again.

I think that I am going to go pick up that black sweater.

The world is such a lonely place. So many people. None that want me.

I'm sick of it.

Like, what the hell?

I'm too angry to be deep. I'm too deep to be angry.

Don't you hate people who talk like that? Who say nonsense things to sound deep? Or intelligent? Or smart? Or funny?

Or just plain retarded?

Fuck it.

I've got no time for love. Because no one is in love with me.

What now?

Drugs.

Haha, as if.

Back to love.

Almost as empty as everything else. Everything loveless.

Everything me.


Whatever.

Except, I really do care.

I really do.

Maybe being hit when I was younger really screwed me up.

Maybe I don't have time for this.

Maybe everybody else should stop telling me what I have time for.

I have time for drinks.
I have time for hugs.
I have time for him.
And, I have time for love.

What I don't have time for is this.

This ever consuming worry..
Worry about what other peopel think.
But it does matter.

So, I'm stuck.

Help?
What do you think?

=(
Fuck this.

HELP!!!!!!

=(
Fuck.

I can't believe I fail when I am the best.

Life is just retarded.

Point taken. Point blank. Point proved. Pointed out.

Of sight and mind.

Fuck you all.
Bye.